Breaking the Unbreakable
by b-mystique
Summary: No one ever wants to know about their heroes' dark moments;that would require the fog of blind faith and child-like awe to be lifted. The problem with witnessing the weak moments of the gods, was the realization of just how mortal all were in comparasion


**A/N:**Opened up a blank document and freestyled as usual, so it's based on 1x11 because it must have been fresh in my mind. I apologize beforehand on both accounts as a result.

**Disclaimer:** No one would really want the show or any of it's characters to be mine. Unbetaed.

* * *

><p>The offices of Pearson and Hardman were a ghost town after midnight. Only a handful of stray associates lingered, long enough to tie up loose ends before even they retreated to the safe confines of their apartments. It was the solace, if one could consider it so, that Harvey was so desperately seeking out. He loosened his tie and unbuttoned his shirt, sighing as he followed the soulful crooning of Marvin Gaye down the hall and into his office.<p>

"Don't know how many times I have to tell you, kid. The next time you lay a finger on one of my records without my knowing about it, I'm kicking your scrawny ass." Threats aside his voice and subsequently the word themselves lacked their usual heat.

"Don't make threats you can't keep Harvey." Jessica's voice drifted over the music as she turned the chair, his desk chair, around to face him. She propped her bare feet up on his desk near the empty glass of his secret stash of bourbon that she found.

He looked up from the case file he was perusing, eyes tired and weary, jaw clenched. "Don't make _promises_ you can't keep," he corrected, his tone sharp. He tossed the file on his desk causing her to quickly remove her feet. "Our whole damn _career _rides on making threats you can't keep."

She nodded slowly in concurrence as she studied him with piercing eyes. "I thought I told you to head home," she said evenly. Her gaze trailed after him, watching his motions as he uncapped the bourbon and poured some into her glass that he commandeered for himself. He paused, snorted at her wary expression and filled the glass up again before slumping into the chair across from his desk. "I just...think you need to get some rest," she said carefully.

He locked eyes with her over the rim of the glass as he sipped on it,letting the amber liquid burn his throat. "For what? Donna is probably camped out at my condo as we speak-"

"Harvey..." Jessica started in a controlled voice.

"- and I can't deal with her right now, or you for that matter." He glared at her, a small effort gone into making the words hurtful enough to make her retreat. "If you sent me home how did you know I'd be here?" His voice was low and scathing as he pinned her with a glare.

Any other time Jessica would have raised her brow at him and inserted a sarcastic 'Really?, but this wasn't any other time. This time she would have to choose her every word, and her every action carefully. She knew him well enough to know that. "We're all creatures of habit," Jessica responded smoothly. "You aren't as unpredictable as you think, Harvey. I know you."

Eyes with laser focus zoned in on her suddenly. "With all due respect Jessica,' he started his voice tight with a myriad of emotions he was struggling to keep at bay. "Get out of my office...please." His voice broke off towards the end. He couldn't keep the strong,callous demand in his voice, as it now became a strained and heart-wrenching plea. His brooding eyes were glossy with stubborn tears that wouldn't dare fall in her presence.

Jessica stared at the man who had become a close friend. He was so broken. His hair disheveled and clothes in a disarray. The sleeves of his button up shoved up above his elbows. His tie abandoned long ago, laid carelessly on the floor. The man before her was burned out,at the end of his rope, vastly losing the battle of his self control. There was no semblance of his well contained control of emotions present. Everything about him was shattered and raw, emotions normally well hidden exposed. He was still fighting it though. Still fighting to contain it all, bury it deep down the way he normally does. He pursed his lips, mouth drawn tight as he rolled his head on his shoulders, eyes narrowing at the wall before him. She watched him warily as he struggled to suppress the anger,betrayal, hurt..that were trying to claw themselves out. She hadn't seen him spiraling out of control like that in years.

"No." She said firmly, with a shake of her head and a steady glare into his eyes.

"Dammit Jessica!" He growled, jumping from his seat, causing the chair to fall over backwards, he slapped his palms against the desk and glared at her with tormented eyes.

Jessica flinched at the sudden movement but refused to let herself be goaded. He was pushing her away, pushing them all away, because Titans never wanted witnesses to their fall. The Harvey he had convinced himself and others to believe in was invincible. He looked up at her with troubled eyes that he was trying his best to hide. He was defeated in a way that she hadn't seen him. Superman in those rare moments left out of stories, when even he doubts whether or not he can fly again. No one ever wants to know about their heroes' dark moments...because that would require the fog of blind faith and child-like awe to be lifted. The problem with witnessing the weak moments of the gods, was the startling realization of just how mortal everyone else, self included was in comparasion.

"I'm not going anywhere Harvey," she responded quietly.

He begin pacing in front of her, his body tense. Measured steps slowly revealing the burning energy simmering below the surface. Like the calm before the storm or the stifling heat before a volcano's inevitable explosion. Except, everyone talks about the calm before the storm,but no one mentions the intensity of the storm itself, or those damning, eerie moments afterward when all falling victim to it are left blinking starry-eyed and contemplating whether it's worth it to pick up the pieces of their lives and move on or give up right then and there.

"I'm still trying to figure out what the _hell _you came here for?" Harvey inquired bitterly as a fire flashed through his eyes. He ran his hand through his hair silently cursing himself for the crack in his armor, the frayed leash he had on his emotions, and his inability to drive the unwelcomed visitor away long enough so she wouldn't bear witness to it. He had barely managed dodging the others.

"I was worried about you. I _am _worried about you."

Harvey chuckled darkly as he stopped mid-pace, rested his palms on the desk and leaned in levering her with a glare. "Bullshit Jessica. You were worried about _you_. You were worried about the firm and..and fucking headlines and how this reflects on you. You were worried about clients and goddamn expenses and having to rely on that _asshat _Louis," he sneered as he up-righted himself and motioned to the door. "when I went down and he took my fucking place!"

"How could you_ think_ that?" she asked incredulously, her resolve melting as she succumbed to his bitterness and misdirected anger. "How could you-you, even _believe _that?'

"I don't know what to believe anymore!" Harvey shouted, waving his hand in the air. "I don't know who to believe anymore. What to trust-_who _to trust!"

"You. Trust. _Me_, Harvey!" Jessica's voice rose to match his as she watched the desperation finally consume her friend whole. "You believe in me!'

A deafening silence settled over them for a moment and Harvey turned his back away from Jessica and rubbed the back of his neck.

Her voice nearly caught in her throat over his distress. She rose from the seat and made her way around the desk, but stopped a few feet away from him. "I care about you Harvey.. you're...m-"

"_Yours_. Am I right?" He hissed with a humorless smirk. "I belong to you like some-"

"You're not just an employee or a fucking_ investment_," She spewed the word like venom and ignored the way his eyes burned into hers. "You're my _friend_. I care about you...and I know you're incapable of wrapping your pretty little head around such a foreign concept but it's true. And if your ass doesn't know that by now then you aren't as goddamn smart as I thought you were!"

She stood before him with her chest heaving and obvious hurt in her eyes that matched the hurt and anger in her voice. She had let him get to her. The plan of sticking to tough love and calm comfort was somewhat abandoned when their friendship was challenged. Harvey was pushing her buttons deliberately to drive her away but as personal as she took it she wasn't going anywhere. She couldn't.

"The worst of it is over..." Jessica said quietly as she tried to compose herself, looking up at him through thick lashes and caught sightly off guard by the fresh wave of anger welling up in him.

"And why is that?" he said in a low biting voice as he stepped towards her. "Because of the _stunt _you and Donna pulled?" He hurled the words at her as he canted his head to the side. He almost felt his blood boil when Jessica's eyes narrowed and her chin was held high. She was unapologetic. He turned his back to her and finished off the rest of his bourbon.

"You. Had. No. RIGHT!" He snarled in a low tone through clenched teeth. He hurled the empty glass and watched it hit the wall and shatter into thousands of pieces.

"Like hell we didn't!" Jessica contested. Her body reflexively recoiled from the sound of glass smashing, which prompted him to whisper an apology but she didn't let either faze her.

"I could have handled it myself. Both of you should have left well enough alone." He muttered, his voice lacking some of the anger and edginess he had before and a kernel of vulnerability rang through. He raked a hand through his hair and averted his eyes. He never wanted the mask that veiled his personal feelings to slip in front of anyone. Displaying feelings got a person in trouble. Emotions could be perceived as weak. If people knew what he felt it could be used against him.

"God, I don't know why it's so hard for you to believe that there are people out there who care for you," Jessica said in an exasperated sigh. He brought his eyes up to meet hers but stayed silent because he couldn't necessarily disagree. "Donna and I did what we had to do to protect you. You're our friend. Our family...and I'm _not _going to apologize for having your back and I'm pretty damn sure Donna won't either!"

If Jessica's words had any effect on him, he didn't let on to it. She struggled to read him beyond the utter despair and anger that was emanating from him. It was so powerful she could feel it. Harvey's unbridled helplessness combined with the various other emotions surging through him, fueled him to respond to her unapologetic meddling rather than her fierce loyalty. He took another step toward her and she instinctively stepped backwards.

"The worst is far from over, Jessica. There's a kid out there..." he paused and sniffed,trying to compose himself enough to speak over the lump in his throat. "..in a prison. And_ I _put him there." His eyes shone again with tears that wouldn't fall as he pointed to himself. "I'm responsible for that. I have to make that right."

"And I'll back you," Jessica said with conviction. "I always have...and I always will."

"Then why the hell did you send me to him?" His voice was solemn and not nearly as accusatory as the question called for. Harvey's resolve was fading slowly and he found it hard to fight off the impending outbreak of things best left buried.

"I'm not the bad guy here, Harvey," Jessica said in a collected tone, with an undercurrent of annoyance. "Stop making me out to be."She said carefully. A vulnerable Harvey was a house of cards. Being a proverbial punching bag was part of handling him, but she refused to be unfairly tarnished to a certain degree during the process.

"I' m not Cameron," her lip curled around his name with contempt and disgust. "If I'd have known..." she shook her head and clenched her delicate jaw in anger, before meeting Harvey's disconcerting eyes. "I _never _would have sent you there. And I resent the implication that I would want you to learn that. You know that. You know me."

Harvey held her gaze as he took another step forward inching her backwards even more. He took deep breathes and tried to suppress the overwhelming despair and betrayal coursing through his veins and tearing him apart inside. "I know," he said quietly his eyes boring into hers. "And I'm sorry. But in my defense I thought I knew Cameron too..and it doesn't help that I can't always figure you out," he admitted truthfully.

"And what is that supposed to mean," Jessica queried cautiously.

She assessed the man that was currently caging her in. Her back was against the wall, she bit back a chuckle at the irony, because while hers was against the wall literally his back was against the wall figuratively. Jessica always admired how well Harvey could turn the tables. Harvey was still burnt out on all ends though. He was still radiating tension that he wouldn't let go of and fighting the release that his soul so desperately needed.

He placed a hand against the wall by her head and looked her dead in the eyes, leaving no room for her to look elsewhere. Harvey knew it was the only way to assure she didn't deflect...or flat out lie for his benefit. She was a powerful woman and she could back all of her threats if it called for her but encroaching on her personal space always caught her off guard. He knew that and he only used it to his advantage when a matter was pressing."Why did you pick me?"

Jessica furrowed her brow, slightly caught off guard by the direction he veered. Harvey was deflecting, trying once again to avoid crumbling completely before her. Or perhaps he was still consumed with self doubt and needed desperately for her to assure him of something, anything, that would rid him of guilt...remind him of who he was, how good he was. Harvey always sought out her approval, after all, occasionally in a similar fashion as a child with his parent. Then again with the close capacity between them and his emotions raw and exposed he very well could have veered down that road that they both steadfastly never spoke about and tried damn hard to ignore. Jessica didn't know where he was going this time, and she didn't know what gameplay to go with so she decided on the truth. "I don't know."

"Dammit Jessica," Harvey growled, as he slapped his other hand against the wall just above her head and towered over her. He watched her lean her head back against the wall, close her eyes and sigh. "For once, can you just be serious with me?" He hated how pathetic and pleading his voice sounded to his own ears but apparently it did the trick because she opened her eyes and locked them with his, and he braced himself for a response. Although, he still wasn't sure what response he wanted to hear.

Jessica looked into the dark haunted eyes of her colleague and friend. His face tormented and brow furrowed. His face was inches away from her now. His body leaned in and just barely pressing against hers. She normally wouldn't have been inclined to give him what he wanted, when he was blatantly using tactics to fluster and intimidate her. But now wasn't the time to play with him. Their usual banter and games had to be cast aside.

"I_ am_ being serious Harvey," she whispered. She shrugged her shoulder as much as she could given the little room she had to work with. "I...I honestly don't know."

Harvey stared into her eyes with a burning intensity that was chilling. Their noses were nearly touching and her eyes were somewhat glassy looking, and she swallowed nearly inaudibly and squirmed after a bit. He was making her uncomfortable. He ascertained that she was being truthful, not that he could ever really tell anyways and he leaned his forehead against hers and sighed, damning himself for asking a question that would undoubtedly send him over the edge and make all of his work to tamper down all the toxic shit circulating through him down, not to mention successfully close her and everyone else out, in vain.

"You're infuriating," he finally growled, as he pushed himself off the wall and away from her.

Jessica let out a slow sigh. She could still smell the bourbon in the air from his warm breath against her face, and could still feel the warmth from where his head connected with hers. She didn't plan on the visit being as emotionally tolling for her. She was usually better at keeping her own emotions in check too, and she sighed again resigned to the fact that maybe she failed at helping Harvey deal this time, because it was an honest to God crap-shoot. She opened her eyes and tried to compose herself, shivering at the cold taking over the warmth that his presence near her had temporarily provided.

She didn't have much time to react when he turned swiftly and rushed towards her. This time his lips crashed into hers, angrily and hungrily, and with so much pain that she almost wanted to cry. His hands wound in her hair and her body hit the wall again from his abrupt impact and she wanted to cry out, but he literally took her breath away from her. He had her pinned against the wall and his tongue conquered the depths of her mouth. His stubble scratched against her face and he tasted like bourbon and tears. She didn't know how to respond, because that was as far as he had gone at any time, those rare moments when he was at his worst like he was at the moment and the times when he was his usual self. So she left her hands at her side, palms pressed against the wall and she let him kiss her.

He finally broke away and the look he gave her was a mixture of horror, shame, and fear. He banged his head against the wall above her shoulder. "I'm sorry," he whispered near her ear his voice husky and ragged as he squeezed his eyes shut.

"It's okay," she said breathlessly as she grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into the crook of her shoulder in a half embrace. He apologized again in a choked sob and she hugged him tighter to her and looked up the ceiling as she fought off tears of her own.

Harvey wrapped his arms around her tightly. He buried his head into the side of her neck and allowed the warmth of her body and her soft, shushing tones soothe him. Harvey didn't cry. He closed his eyes tightly and allowed the beating of Jessica's heart set a pace for his own. He ignored the stinging of tears in his eyes as he worked to let his breathing match hers. It would take time before his chest would stop constricting so much and his head would stop swimming and he would be able to successfully breath through the pressure of not crying. Harvey stopped crying three decades ago, the moment he learned to build near impenetrable walls around his heart and mask his emotions with a stoic face, a devilish smirk, inscrutable eyes, and a great amount of charm. And since then after years of habit, he's flat out forgotten how to.

-End-


End file.
